what hv i been doing...

oops...it has been some time ago since i last blog...-blogged-

i was-

busy
worried
busy
worried again
and endless worries....

k, the first worry of the semester was
the damn design project

second
the damn design project (again)
it would not be a stress at all to me if and only if the lecturer in charge was NEVER him. he is a living killer of students. on top of tt, i, as usual, as rebellious as ever, booked a late ticket bc to uni for the beginning of the semester and he, as usual, as 'kl' as ever, purposely made the first week, first day, first cls compulsory to attend. for those who failed to attend will cause a total deduction of 20 marks. wtf!? a number of my coursemates rebooked an earlier ticket just to attend tt so-called compulsory first lesson....of course, no one was satisfied but they did tt just to please him...the pinch and the ache caused by burnt tickets are never far away whenever he is our lecturer...

argh~! i just could not give a damn anymore with such threatening...marks are no longer important to me...and so i skipped tt so-called compulsory lesson.

i pity tt he earns no true treatment and true friendship from the students...
the fear in us is above all trueness so whatever presented to him is just the surface and he claims tt he could judge and read us...

oh, how pitiful...

he sees everything through his perspective and claims he understands us? oh pls, gimme a break. tts not the way and even if one of us, i mean any of my coursemates were to ever mention this blog to him, i will be glad for the announcement...(i am taking the risk)...freedom of speech k...give students some right to voice out at times...what i mean is to tell the truth and to voice our piece of mind; not the one created to please a person...yeah, hand us the crappy survey form to fill in but so what? they only love good comments which are obviously created for the fear of jeopardising the grades in finals. and my attitude towards all this?

-dn gif a damn-

tt was my main concern of the semester. yeah rite, dn gif a damn and i am worried? do u call tt contradiction?

k, the dn gif a damn is i dn care the way he sees me.
the concern is pls dn degrade me jz because u dn favour me.

my fren once told me abt -heavily biased-
which i think could be applied in this what we call favoritism?

he is one of the lecturers tt i am disappointed with. i respect him for his wisdom and his knowledge but i disagree with the way he brand us. perhaps the way he brand me. i do not know if my coursemates hv the same thinking as i do but i truly believe tt even if they do, they keep tt to themselves and underground.

pretenders and hypocrites are a handful in my course.

i am wondering if this is how people survive. i am so freaking afraid i will turn like one of those one day. pls dont.

no doubt he is a walking encyclopedia. but he is not humble enough. alrite, enough said on tt. it is pointless to elaborate and present evidence to support my statement. if he were to ever think from our perspective then he would be a great educator. no one is perfect anyway. lucky thing is i am free from his nonsensical way of controlling in my final yr of uni. phew~

tt does not mean i make a denial tt he is indeed a good lecturer after all. without him, ee would hv collapsed.

and so the overall design project ended with a presentation to mr. jackson yoong. the presentation? it was brief and i met another knowledgeable man in tt presentation.

-i wish i could scrape off the memory of the whole design project. it was horrendous. i repeat, HORRENDOUS.-

and for the survival of this semester, i would like to thank

my father
my mom
molly yi
dayi
teo teo
san yi
sa teo
xiao yi
mr kenneth
uncle lim
dajie
erjie
qi jie jie
ah kim
yee mun
yee wah
selina
ahcheng
suding
darling
lim
benghin
wenhao
weisheng
xinweilian
sia
cheelin
cheeyin
jessica
jassica
choy
brenda

for their continuous, endless moral support. their phone calls. their smses. their comfort. and oso providing me a hideout when i need one as well as listening to my endless complaints. a big thank you. without them, i would hv fallen into a total depression.

for the next worry------------> FYP

compared to other course mates i should not worry but the worry is thr somehow. seeing everyone rushing to knock on lecturers' doors made me feel the rush of adrenaline. i am fortunate tt i did not have to go through the process of fighting for lecturers and titles. in fact, i do not exactly know what title i am capable of. i know nuts abt electronics. i know nuts abt engineering. i do not hv a direction and i do not like what i hv been learning except mathematics and some analysis thing. oth than tt, i like none.

and so this leads me to a feeling of going to nowhere. but. i am lucky enough to hv a mentor who has been guiding me. not in study wise but emotionally. i owe him alot for he has been providing me the necessary guidance and moral support. he has been a gd listener. thank you.

and now he is my FYP supervisor. thank you for accepting me even though i am not a gd student. thank you.

i will be doing the title of system control of pH neutralisation through artificial intelligence approach. a control title. k, again, i know nuts abt it. *sobs*
i hope and cross my fingers tt i will not disappoint him for if i do, i do not know how to face him anymore...i will need to dig a hole and bury myself deep in...i hv been hoping tt the 25% would increase to a 50% of happy uni life...(i only enjoyed the first yr of my uni life...everything was gd bc then...hving dajie, erjie and a happy relationship with him...-was-)

this worry shall continue until the day i graduate...





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