my LI - second wk

let the pics do all the talking~

the first hse of the first wk of metering department tt i visited

technician who is in charge of bringing me kai kai, mr mudrikah

the transporter...hee...

before installation

in the process of new installation of electronic meter, single phase

the meter

meter 'surgery'...loosening the screws for the wire connection...

the complete installation

and of course we continued traveling from one kampung to another. really an eye opening experience. if i were not here, i would not hv discovered so many kampungs in penang~

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staying strong.

it is nw the end of the third wk of my LI.

i gained an experience tt really tested my patience, sanity and my communication skill.
it is difficult, no, make it extremely difficult to be in a world of not your own kind.
i tasted the feelings of being alienated. totally a world of i dn belong thr.

today made me realised how irresponsible a supervisor can be. all he did was to push all the blame to me. for god's sake i DID go to his office the vr first day of my training at 5pm informing him i was going bc. he DID look at the clock displaying it was 5pm and told me tt i could go bc. and today he asked why did i go bc at 5pm??? wtf?! then when the news spread ard the office everyone was like, why did u go bc at 5pm? our time is 5.15pm! walao~ it clearly showed tt whenever i walked out of the office i was transformed into an invisible person. for 3 wks. everyone js kept quiet. and today i was bombarded. by mr shanker. by wati. by everyone.

argh~!!! and all i could do was to 'admit' it was my fault. i was not aware. i kept on saying sorry. for the report is on their hands. anyway, i believe my report is now SCARRED by this fucking incident. to them, it was my fault. besides tt, what was worst, wati questioned me in a harsh tone, (k, she did not look angry but her tone was indeed the kind of u-r-wrong tone) why didnt i punch card for the mth of april? wtf?! (again) excuse me, i started on may 11!!! and the punch card was not even mine!!! it was a chinese name on the punch card and she accused me without even knowing my name!!! jz because the name was a chinese name i got accused for nth!!!

and again, all i could do was to smile and apologised~
(i rmb vr well tt the offer letter did not state my training time. alrite, nw i dn dare to check coz fear tt i rmb wrongly. god, save me.)

i hv no better choice but to continue with the flow and i pray very very hard tt this will end. but. when this ends, it also marks the beginning of another hurdle. another worry tt i hv feared.

the worry of


(k, i promise to seal my mouth from saying this. so i blogged it. blogged.)

at the same time i do feel the repulsion of graduating. mixed feelings.
i want to graduate to get my ass out of studying and examinations life.
i do not want to graduate for i fear tt i do not know if i am capable of working.

and the advice to all these feelings, dn wry nw. wry only when the time comes.

enjoy life!

in spite of all falls, i am glad today tt i hv got free lunch, my favourite tomyum (thank you, ah wei), free tiramisu + free coffee bean (thank you, lim) and a happy chat with selina and her roomie, sing ning.

the tiramisu tt selina complaint too wet~

tiramisu + 3 duno wad drinks~
coz they are F.O.C so we din bother to know what they are...hehe...

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sorry i made a mistake

would like to apologize for the remark i made in the previous entry.

i trusted the rite person. *wiping off sweat* phews~
received his call tt clarify he did not betray me.

sorry and thank you.

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a lil disappoinment

i feel
a lil disappointed.
a lil out of order.
a lil i-hv-trusted-the-wrong-person-again feeling.

for he is the master.
i am the subordinate.
i hv no choice but to keep quiet.

call nvr ans.
sms nvr reply.


thr is a need for me to adjust to this i-do-not-understd-my-master to i-need-learn-to-understd-my-master character.

i am left perplexed.
and i cannot slp.
thinking if i hv trusted the wrong person (again)(again).

i think i hv the kind of look tt everyone thinks it is alrite dn hv to gif a damn of her feelings, she is alw happy and she heals fast.

i am also a human.

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updates, perhaps.

a tiring day ended with a smile today... :)

mom bought me lots of junk fd and lent me her ears listening to my complaints...
(kind of guilty tt i released my temper on her...hee...but luckily she is understanding enough to allow me to do tt... =] )

met suding + her bf and had a light snack at egate, hongkie...
(happy to see her giggles and the non-stop and the non-vitamin talk...kekek...gonna miss her laughter...)

molly yi lent me her ears listening to my complaints...
(perhaps complaining to mom still not sufficient to channel my phek i continued the complaints at nite to my lovely aunt...hee....)

saw wei yan at sk...
(had no chance to catch up with her for sk was bz...but it was gd enough tt i saw her...)

special thanks to erjie and benghin for the smses tt kill my boredom.
special thanks to qing wen, ai yen and xin ru for the company of lunch hr. had a great time chatting with them today... =]

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my LI-first wk.

aft a 5-day of so-called industrial training, i finally hv the chance to slp in peace today and i wasted most of the time planted myself on the bed. thanks to the usual monthly tsunami attack cycle.

i hv got a negative mood level today. emo. dunno if its coz of the tsunami attack or being alone at home makes my mind wonder wild. life has not been smooth sailing. everything seems to go against the flow.

i have made a promise tt i will not say a word of unhappiness over my LI. well, i did not say it. i blogged it. blogged.

the whole industrial training from day one itself gave me a bad feeling. a feeling tt i would not do anything. i tried to be positive. to give a chance to deny all the negatives tt i hv heard b4 abt industrial training in a not-private company.

1st day~
when the head of the distribution dept told me to be smart on the first day i met him, i was like, 'shit!!! this is it. like what i hv predicted earlier...why didnt u disappoint me what i hv actually expected? argh~' i was told to go chit chat with the staffs and learn whatever i wan to learn on my own. thr was no specific or arranged task. NONE. i did not hv a place either. i had to be nomad. no proper place to sit to do work. no pc. NOTHING. it was a lost feeling. i feel like i am an unwanted child thr. duno whr to go. duno what to do. luckily on tt day someone was on leave so i had a place to sit and to learn up the system used on my own. i did not know exactly what everything was abt. all i did was clicking on the company's intranet here and thr.
and tt was my first day. ugh~

2nd day~
no one was on leave. so i had no place. i stayed at the customer counter the whole day with ms. saroja. she is the person in charge of refunding deposit to customer aft termination of supply. all i did the whole day was attending to some customers and learning my social skill and a lil' on their customer mgmt. and i did some paper work of stamping. aihs. the unwanted child feeling (again)

3rd day~
i checked account. given by ms saroja. the whole day i did checking on the amt of the debts.

4th day~
thank god i hv got ms saroja. or else i really had nth to do. i had to dig for work. argh~ i did customer service today. made phone calls to customers to ask them to come over to claim their deposit. it was kind of fun when dealing with customers. i feel like a santa claus for i ask them to collect money.

5th day~
continued calling...2 hrs break for friday...damn boring...luckily i found a library nearby whr i could spend my time thr reading novel...phews~

k, so far none related to engineering. aihs~
throughout the whole wk, i wan to thank my frens who hv been accompanying me via sms to kill my boredom.


and oso the company of qing wen during lunch hr. not forgetting my cousin, qi jie jie for coming all the way to hv lunch wif me.

-thank you-

below are the pics which i took on the first day.

these are the old meters which would be dumped away.

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my guilt.

the 4th May 2009
(one day aft the mark of the break up)

for the first time ever tt i was drunk. i feel so guilty and sinful. i unleashed all my unhappiness tt i hv kept in me for quite some time ever since the break with him. it is now half a yr.

my first guilt.
i went clubbing instead of completing the self assessment and updating log book which were supposed to hand in before leaving for home.

my second guilt.
i lied to molly yi and grandma telling tt i was doing my work when i was actually getting ready to go out.

my third guilt.
i hugged someone. crying.

my fourth guilt.
i leaned on somebody's shoulder. crying.

my fifth guilt.
i left my drinks unattended.

my sixth guilt.
i was drunk most of the time. crying.

my seventh guilt.
i told my ex to sms him telling him tt i miss him. (i will NEVER hv done this if i were sober. NO. i WONT) ugh~!

my eighth guilt.
i allowed someone tt i got to know tt nite to comfort me.

my ninth guilt.
i slpt in the washroom for quite some time and puked near somebody's car.

my tenth guilt.
my first puff in public offered by nurul.

above all, the worst and the last guilt.
i miss him.

i am grateful tt i am safe and sound bc to hostel. thanks to all tt hv taken care of me tt nite.

heng's fren

-thank you-

i just cant help it but i really would like to blog abt sharon. she impressed me. well, i really salute her. we both drank the same amount of alcohol i believe but she could actually remain sober. she was the one who drove me bc to hostel. and i rmb her eating a bowl of hokkien mee some time before sun rise and my roomie told me tt aft dropping me bc hostel she could actually wake up and attend a talk at 8am in the morning! not only tt, she had breakfast with her aft the talk. and tt was like the second time she went clubbing?! like so unbelievable... perhaps, i shd train myself drinking more. with the help of my father's collection of hard liquor then i would hv beaten her dy...hehe...whatever it is, thank you sharon. nvr tell me you are a kampong gurl. i nvr will believe you...hehe....thank you =] i am happy tt i din spend the nite cracking my head for the lame self assessment thing instead...

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Tolong Tolong Letter

i was reading from jack neo's blog and i found this really funny and would like to share the laughter... :)

Tolong Tolong Letter

With the release of the inflation figure of 6.8 percent, this becomes a relevant reminder…………………….TQ LCTS !

Intro: The first letter was posted last year, in one of the forums I participate in, by a person who goes by the nick “ChinChaiOne” and he named his thread “Tolong Tolong”. It was picked up by other forums, circulated around (even in govt depts) then someone who posed as an official in the PM’s office posted a reply.


From : ChinChaiOne
28-Apr 12:15

Dear Prime Minister,
We citizens of Singapore urge you to PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
We DO NOT NEED your help.. Every time, you mention HELP, we have to run for cover!!!

Help the poor? Raise GST!

Help traffic flow? Up ERP!

Help passenger service? Up Bus fare/MRT fare!

Help us get taxi? Raise taxi fare!

Help us get good government? Raise Minister and Civil servant salary!

Everytime YOU WANT TO HELP, we all PAY FOR IT!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU…TOLONG LAH, please, we will HELP OURSELVES, no need your help liao. We DARE NOT ask for help any more!!!

Sir, most honoured sir, I urge you NOT TO HELP Singapore INVEST also!
Everytime your wife invest, we all lose money! Kao liao, kum siah!
Just let us have a dose of bad governance, like recently the Mat Selamat case, like dat….so far, it is ok, your incompetence, we ACCEPT!

PLEASE DO NOT help us have better security! Wait we all kena PAY FOR IT!!
I think it is ok lah, please just take your salary and enjoy life ok?

Thank you thank you,
I am very chin chai one, any how any how, no need to help oso can one.

Following is a reply from the Prime Minister’s Office:

Date: Saturday, 2 August, 2008.

Dear Chin Chai One,

10Q you for your letter. On behalf of the Prime Minister, I am replying to your letter as follows:

As the erected party of Singaporeans, we are here to serve.

We are demon-cratic country, you are master, we gahmen servant, we serve you. You got problems we must help. You say no need our help? That means you’re not Singapore’s master. You say you run for cover? Cannot one, our police will find you.

GST is to help the Gahmen to help yourself. The Gahmen Service Tax is everywhere, you go America also have one, cannot run one.

Traffic very bad, so bad that we have to hold car racing at nite to avoid traffic jam. We believe there is no free lunch like PM’s father say before, you use, you must pay, so Every Road Pay. So you see no ERP cannot one.

Needless to say, passenger service also must pay. The increase in bus fare and MRT and taxi fare are very little already. We foresee world inflation coming: oil, steel, pay of foreign talents, etc, so we have to pay for the service.

You see, many foreign talents come to Singapore . If we don’t pay our ministers well, they will go other countries to be their foreign talents. So must raise salary to keep them. If not, Nathan, Shanmugam, Bala etc will go Indiaand work. Khaw will go Malaysia .. etc etc. Must keep them. To keep them must pay well.

You are right, any help also must pay.

To help yourself? No, it’s illegal. You mean you can build your own MRT? Run your own buses? Drive your Ba-Ong-Chia? Build your own roads? Seow liao!! Every one help himself then how? No social order lah! Ga ga ask for help, we are here to serve you.

We understand some of you have temporary problem. Don’t worry, it is only short term. We must look long term. We must invest long term. Now lose a bit don’t cow beh cow boo, long term! Yes, remember. 30 or 50 years later we will own Swiss banks, US banks, UK properties, maybe even South Pole condominiums. We must tighten our seat belt and bite our false teeth. The future very bright. As long as you continue to support the gahmen 30 to 50 years you will see bright future. So Chiang See Tong a bit lah. Also, investing is very complicated business, not easy. We must pay school fee to learn from advanced countries.

On Selamat’s case, we also must learn our lesson. We encourage life-long-learning. I learn whole life time, you learn whole life, Mr Wong Can’t Sing also whole life learning. It’s actually good. Mr Wong already apologise, don’t force a dog to jump over the wall, the wall may collapse. Old dog cannot jump high also.

Selamat’s case gives us many lessons. We must be on alert, not too complacent. Now every Singaporean know there can be a terrorist among us any time. This is the best self defence education !! PM will give Mr Wong another salary increment for that.

Also now we merge the prisons and detention centre, more space will be available now. We will build it like another IR, Integrated Retention - so those don’t want our service and thinking of doing illegal service will go there. We will pass a new law too, the expenses for stay in that IR will be deducted from your CPF money.

Remember we must be grateful to people who help us — and pay.

I hope I have explained the situation and give you the message clearly. If you still need help, please call my handphone: 9990-6767 , it’s toll-free.

By the way, Mr Chin Chai One, our pioneer Toh Chin Chai already toh long ago. So if you choose to be Chin Chin Chai Chai, you will also Toh.

10Q you again,


Grassrude secretary

p/s: courtesy of jack neo blog

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what hv i been doing... has been some time ago since i last blog...-blogged-

i was-

worried again
and endless worries....

k, the first worry of the semester was
the damn design project

the damn design project (again)
it would not be a stress at all to me if and only if the lecturer in charge was NEVER him. he is a living killer of students. on top of tt, i, as usual, as rebellious as ever, booked a late ticket bc to uni for the beginning of the semester and he, as usual, as 'kl' as ever, purposely made the first week, first day, first cls compulsory to attend. for those who failed to attend will cause a total deduction of 20 marks. wtf!? a number of my coursemates rebooked an earlier ticket just to attend tt so-called compulsory first lesson....of course, no one was satisfied but they did tt just to please him...the pinch and the ache caused by burnt tickets are never far away whenever he is our lecturer...

argh~! i just could not give a damn anymore with such threatening...marks are no longer important to me...and so i skipped tt so-called compulsory lesson.

i pity tt he earns no true treatment and true friendship from the students...
the fear in us is above all trueness so whatever presented to him is just the surface and he claims tt he could judge and read us...

oh, how pitiful...

he sees everything through his perspective and claims he understands us? oh pls, gimme a break. tts not the way and even if one of us, i mean any of my coursemates were to ever mention this blog to him, i will be glad for the announcement...(i am taking the risk)...freedom of speech k...give students some right to voice out at times...what i mean is to tell the truth and to voice our piece of mind; not the one created to please a person...yeah, hand us the crappy survey form to fill in but so what? they only love good comments which are obviously created for the fear of jeopardising the grades in finals. and my attitude towards all this?

-dn gif a damn-

tt was my main concern of the semester. yeah rite, dn gif a damn and i am worried? do u call tt contradiction?

k, the dn gif a damn is i dn care the way he sees me.
the concern is pls dn degrade me jz because u dn favour me.

my fren once told me abt -heavily biased-
which i think could be applied in this what we call favoritism?

he is one of the lecturers tt i am disappointed with. i respect him for his wisdom and his knowledge but i disagree with the way he brand us. perhaps the way he brand me. i do not know if my coursemates hv the same thinking as i do but i truly believe tt even if they do, they keep tt to themselves and underground.

pretenders and hypocrites are a handful in my course.

i am wondering if this is how people survive. i am so freaking afraid i will turn like one of those one day. pls dont.

no doubt he is a walking encyclopedia. but he is not humble enough. alrite, enough said on tt. it is pointless to elaborate and present evidence to support my statement. if he were to ever think from our perspective then he would be a great educator. no one is perfect anyway. lucky thing is i am free from his nonsensical way of controlling in my final yr of uni. phew~

tt does not mean i make a denial tt he is indeed a good lecturer after all. without him, ee would hv collapsed.

and so the overall design project ended with a presentation to mr. jackson yoong. the presentation? it was brief and i met another knowledgeable man in tt presentation.

-i wish i could scrape off the memory of the whole design project. it was horrendous. i repeat, HORRENDOUS.-

and for the survival of this semester, i would like to thank

my father
my mom
molly yi
teo teo
san yi
sa teo
xiao yi
mr kenneth
uncle lim
qi jie jie
ah kim
yee mun
yee wah

for their continuous, endless moral support. their phone calls. their smses. their comfort. and oso providing me a hideout when i need one as well as listening to my endless complaints. a big thank you. without them, i would hv fallen into a total depression.

for the next worry------------> FYP

compared to other course mates i should not worry but the worry is thr somehow. seeing everyone rushing to knock on lecturers' doors made me feel the rush of adrenaline. i am fortunate tt i did not have to go through the process of fighting for lecturers and titles. in fact, i do not exactly know what title i am capable of. i know nuts abt electronics. i know nuts abt engineering. i do not hv a direction and i do not like what i hv been learning except mathematics and some analysis thing. oth than tt, i like none.

and so this leads me to a feeling of going to nowhere. but. i am lucky enough to hv a mentor who has been guiding me. not in study wise but emotionally. i owe him alot for he has been providing me the necessary guidance and moral support. he has been a gd listener. thank you.

and now he is my FYP supervisor. thank you for accepting me even though i am not a gd student. thank you.

i will be doing the title of system control of pH neutralisation through artificial intelligence approach. a control title. k, again, i know nuts abt it. *sobs*
i hope and cross my fingers tt i will not disappoint him for if i do, i do not know how to face him anymore...i will need to dig a hole and bury myself deep in...i hv been hoping tt the 25% would increase to a 50% of happy uni life...(i only enjoyed the first yr of my uni life...everything was gd bc then...hving dajie, erjie and a happy relationship with him...-was-)

this worry shall continue until the day i graduate...

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