this is me

the 4th May 2009
(one day aft the mark of the break up)

for the first time ever tt i was drunk. i feel so guilty and sinful. i unleashed all my unhappiness tt i hv kept in me for quite some time ever since the break with him. it is now half a yr.

my first guilt.
i went clubbing instead of completing the self assessment and updating log book which were supposed to hand in before leaving for home.

my second guilt.
i lied to molly yi and grandma telling tt i was doing my work when i was actually getting ready to go out.

my third guilt.
i hugged someone. crying.

my fourth guilt.
i leaned on somebody's shoulder. crying.

my fifth guilt.
i left my drinks unattended.

my sixth guilt.
i was drunk most of the time. crying.

my seventh guilt.
i told my ex to sms him telling him tt i miss him. (i will NEVER hv done this if i were sober. NO. i WONT) ugh~!

my eighth guilt.
i allowed someone tt i got to know tt nite to comfort me.

my ninth guilt.
i slpt in the washroom for quite some time and puked near somebody's car.

my tenth guilt.
my first puff in public offered by nurul.

above all, the worst and the last guilt.
i miss him.

i am grateful tt i am safe and sound bc to hostel. thanks to all tt hv taken care of me tt nite.

sharon
heng
heng's fren
nurul
cassidy

i just cant help it but i really would like to blog abt sharon. she impressed me. well, i really salute her. we both drank the same amount of alcohol i believe but she could actually remain sober. she was the one who drove me bc to hostel. and i rmb her eating a bowl of hokkien mee some time before sun rise and my roomie told me tt aft dropping me bc hostel she could actually wake up and attend a talk at 8am in the morning! not only tt, she had breakfast with her aft the talk. and tt was like the second time she went clubbing?! like so unbelievable... perhaps, i shd train myself drinking more. with the help of my father's collection of hard liquor then i would hv beaten her dy...hehe...whatever it is, thank you sharon. nvr tell me you are a kampong gurl. i nvr will believe you...hehe....thank you =] i am happy tt i din spend the nite cracking my head for the lame self assessment thing instead...