and now the eve of submission of my report.
i am truly disappointed with myself in handling things.
i am mad and angry with myself for being so weak the past one wk.
i am all enveloped in mixed feelings.
perplexed.
lost.
sad.
upset.
disappointed.
helpless.
guilty.
and at the same time, i wish i could put the blame. but i could not. i do not know why am i in this position right now. correct, i admit, i hv been slacking. but all this while, i hv been and things dn go this ugly and sour. til the extent i hv to break down - (once again.) the last was when i was pushed away from going to the airport. and i experienced it again ytd. a feeling tt was so bad tt i could feel myself shivering. hving to hide under the table and wrapped myself up.
what was worst, my hp out of sudden had no access. meaning i hv got no access to the outside world besides msn.
no human.
no voice.
no one.
made me feel so lonely. so empty. so cold. so pathetic. so helpless. so weak.
physically. mentally. psychologically. shattered. into pieces.
____________________________________________________________________
I HATE THIS PERSON.
who gives empty promises.
who takes things for granted.
so much tt i am angry with this person but at the same time who am i if he has not been thr.
i am provided with lots of convenience but does it mean all this could be used to cover the heartache caused?
i do not know if this is not counting my blessings and being discontented but all i know is i am disappointed. i am mad. i am angry. i am guilty. i am pissed off.
whatever i hv said earlier, fell on deaf ears and the blame goes to i do not want to listen and want to do things my way. if tt is really what i wanted, this would not be happening. i would be sailing smoothly doing my way.
its js so difficult. part of me appreciates and another part of me tells me this person is gd in disguise. if this is really so, i hv been foolish to be so true and sincere. i really hope it is not the latter.
so much of unpleasantness. so much of madness. and all happens before i am leaving. a place i truly dn belong.
how am i supposed to trust anymore tt when u are true and sincere, u gain the same bc. i dn feel the equivalence out of a sudden.
somethings jst cant mend. cant cure. the damage done is done. compensation does not work.
i hope the hatred towards this person stops aft this post.i am truly disappointed with myself in handling things.
i am mad and angry with myself for being so weak the past one wk.
i am all enveloped in mixed feelings.
perplexed.
lost.
sad.
upset.
disappointed.
helpless.
guilty.
and at the same time, i wish i could put the blame. but i could not. i do not know why am i in this position right now. correct, i admit, i hv been slacking. but all this while, i hv been and things dn go this ugly and sour. til the extent i hv to break down - (once again.) the last was when i was pushed away from going to the airport. and i experienced it again ytd. a feeling tt was so bad tt i could feel myself shivering. hving to hide under the table and wrapped myself up.
what was worst, my hp out of sudden had no access. meaning i hv got no access to the outside world besides msn.
no human.
no voice.
no one.
made me feel so lonely. so empty. so cold. so pathetic. so helpless. so weak.
physically. mentally. psychologically. shattered. into pieces.
____________________________________________________________________
I HATE THIS PERSON.
who gives empty promises.
who takes things for granted.
so much tt i am angry with this person but at the same time who am i if he has not been thr.
i am provided with lots of convenience but does it mean all this could be used to cover the heartache caused?
i do not know if this is not counting my blessings and being discontented but all i know is i am disappointed. i am mad. i am angry. i am guilty. i am pissed off.
whatever i hv said earlier, fell on deaf ears and the blame goes to i do not want to listen and want to do things my way. if tt is really what i wanted, this would not be happening. i would be sailing smoothly doing my way.
its js so difficult. part of me appreciates and another part of me tells me this person is gd in disguise. if this is really so, i hv been foolish to be so true and sincere. i really hope it is not the latter.
so much of unpleasantness. so much of madness. and all happens before i am leaving. a place i truly dn belong.
how am i supposed to trust anymore tt when u are true and sincere, u gain the same bc. i dn feel the equivalence out of a sudden.
somethings jst cant mend. cant cure. the damage done is done. compensation does not work.
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