this is me

things hv turned vr sour lately...
kept shedding tears for the past one wk... -ugly-
reason(s)?

suffocation.
i was pushed to a corner til i could not breathe. my patience limit has finally voiced out. which in turn, i freaked out. i got extremely pissed off. i do not know how to frame the dissatisfaction in words. i guess its me to be blamed. too often tt i stayed silence. til the extent tt ppl dn realise my existence and eventually i was neglected and pushed to a corner, shielded...

i cried for almost a wk. it was madness.
me? crying again??? argh~ i hate this form of stress releasing. a way of unleashing tt i nvr agree with. but i cant help it. it just happened. it must be me getting weaker...

i kept crying to dajie over the phone. i guess she is the only person tt i would really show my true feelings. i talked to her for an hr days ago. telling her how depressed i was. she talked me out. she comforted me. she advised me. she is like my real sister. i am fortunate tt she is alw thr when i am down and need someone to cry on. she hated the present me. the unhappy me. the depressed me. i was a total different person she once knew. how much i hated the fact tt i did fall hard and still trying to make a climb bc to my old self.

i hv lost alot of confidence. my morale is at negative i would say.

and when finally dajie has made me feel better, thr comes another hurdle. another argument. another disagreement. another piece of worry tt i hv to face...

p/s: i dislike this piece of entry.